Aggressive Behavior – Anger Explosions
In the previous article we analyzed the phenomenon of bullying and how it can be dealt with at the social level. However, this aggressive behavior of ‘bullies’ demands further analysis of the causes of their anger, but mainly regarding to how parents deal with it as the child does not express his anger only at school, but generally at all times of his life.
When should parents worry about the aggressive behavior?
Sometimes the attitude of parents when informed by her teacher for aggressive behavior of their child is passive. The reaction is the phrase: “Okay, he is just a kid. He got angry…”. Indeed. The expression of anger is normal and expected in childhood. It is a way to claim and a mean of self-protection. The aggressive behavior needs to worry the parents when it becomes routine. So we need to observe the frequency, intensity and degree of revenge / hate of child’s aggressive actions.
What are the forms of aggression?
Aggression can occur in the following forms:
- Bursts ofanger/rage
- Use of”bad words”
- Conflicts, quarrels
- Feelingsof hatredor excessivehostility
What are the causes of aggression?
Aggression is the result of interaction of: a) family and b) social factors. In some cases, the role of c) the genetic factor in combination with environmental influences, is also very important.
In other words:
- a) The quality of relationships within the family strongly affects the child’s behavior. A child exposed to violence (either as a receiver or as a spectator), will commit violence. Do not forget that children “listen much more carefully, when you do not talk to them.” They observe and mimic what they see in the family. Similarly, aggression may arise to children who do not come into contact with violence, but face other problems. The very stringent punishments, abrupt behavior of parents, but also over the limit tolerance, indifference and lack of supervision are some of the factors that encourage this behavior.
- b) The child’s behavior is burdened by the poor living conditions, the marginalization, and the lack of education. The role of media and video games promoting violence should also be pointed out.
- c) There is no consensus of researchers regarding the genetic factors. According, however, to the theory of Freud there is a predisposition to aggressive behavior to some people, an inherent momentum.
How parents should react?
- Preventive means
This is about the behavior of parents in order their child to grow up in a healthy environment and not show such disturbance.
- The role of family life is the most important. The child needs to feel safe, emotional stability and affection.
- The relationship of parents should be calm and quality. Even in the case of divorce, the child should not be involved in the bad relationship of parents, and moreover feel the same responsibility for the divorce or the liability of parent choice. Parents make decisions about their lives, but they do not cease to be parents.
- Parents should set limits. All acts of children (desirable or not) are designed to discover their limits, that is to see how far they can reach. For this reason, parents must show this from the start without leaving them space and time to find their weak point.
- It is natural for the child to get angry, but not excessively or with no reason. The child must learn to control his emotions. For this purpose some activities-games for all the family will be very helpful.
1) we make cards with different situations (pleasant or unpleasant) as the following:
-My classmate is mocking me.
-My team won the school race.
-The children do not let me join the game because I was late.
Each player shows using his body what he felt in every situation and the others must recognize the feeling.
2) Make a cardboard tag with the following colors:
-RED: STOP! CONTROL YOUR ANGER. COUNT TO 10.
-ORANGE:TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.
-YELLOW: THINK CALM WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.
-GREEN: DO WHAT YOU THOUGHT TO DO.
We give players a scenario. For example:
” Maria is having a party for her birthday. She invited the whole class, except John, because he beats the other children. ”
We discuss how Mary and John could be feeling. Then someone takes on the role of Mary and someone else the role of John and both dramatize their discussion on this topic. When the discussion reached the verge quarrel, we demonstrate the traffic light and guide to resolve the issue by following the steps one by one.
⃰ YOU CAN FIND SIMILAR ACTIVITIES IN THE BOOK
Chatzichristou, Ch. Educational material for teachers and pupils of Primary Education GEORGE DARDANOS
- Dealing with aggression
This is advice on the reaction of the parents if the child exhibits aggressive behavior in high frequency.
- ReactWhen your childisangrydo not yell at him, becauseit will onlyget angrier. Allow to stand, to regain controlof emotionsand thensolvethe problem. CAUTION: Calmly does not meanpassively. We mustshowthatwe will not toleratethisbehaviorand will notdealwith himif he continues this pattern. Our talk is seriousand on constant tone. It isimportant to bephysicallyin the same level(bending tobeat the same height) andlook himin the eyes.
- In somecases (eg the “bad words”) we can ignorethe unwantedbehavior. In this waythe child willunderstand that he getsnothingand willAt this point,it should be notedthatsome reactionsof childrenseemfunny(likebadwordsbyyoung children), butif we startto laugh, thechild willreceivepositiveandwillrepeat itoften.
- Noreward on aggressive behavior. As strangeas it sounds, many parents do it, eitherunwittingly, (Example: The boypusheshis brother forgettingthegameandyelling. Theparent scolds himbecause what he did was not right, butheleavesgame to him), eitherbecause they aretoo tired to
- Followinglast, we rewardcourteousbehaviorandweshowourdispleasure toOf course, ALWAYSreject THE ACTANDNOT THEPERSON. Do notinsult, harassorexertpsychologicalviolenceto the child.We do not putthe”bad boy” tag to the child as thiswill impact on him confidencebut alsoperhapspresumeajustificationforhis actions.
- It islikely that thechildbe affixedto grabour attention, even Therefore,if hehitsanother child, we give ourattention to the”victim” and not the “abuser”.
- Do notargue withthe childin front of others. Thiswill result inthe deteriorationof the child’sanger, in order not to seemweak to
- Remove thechild fromthe volumespace to During the discussionwe explain to him why he should notbehave this way. We avoidto ask”whydid you do it?”.
- Theattitude toeverybadactionmustbe the same, so that thechild understandswhat behavior isdesirable andwhatis not.
- Check the TV programs he iswatching andthe games he is playing.
- Thepunishmentshouldnotbe physical, butmore related to thedeprivationofprivileges. Should be fair, havedurance and shouldnotappearas an actof revenge, butreformation. Prerequisiteisconsistency. Sinceweapply thechildpunishment, do notsuspend it. Acommon mistake that parents makeisthat oneimposes thepunishmentand the otherinterrupts it. Parentsare requiredto consult ontheir attitudetowards the child, so the child does not thinkthat“I may be punished for now, butwhendad/mom returns everything will be OK. »
How conservative is the spanking?
According to recent research, the spanking does not show any positive result. Not only does it help to cope with undesirable behavior, but can cause a range of disorders. Even when this is not some form of abuse, but just an “innocent” slap a “cuff”, as they call it, pulling the ear can cause anxiety, depression, mood disorders and personality.
What fool their parents is a temporary compliance of the child, but based on the fear of “spanking” and not understanding the correct behavior pattern. We conclude, therefore, that spanking did not “come from Paradise” so it should be avoided.
All these actions are combined with the help of school teachers. If necessary, we turn to a child psychologist to deal effectively with the aggressiveness of the child.
Vouidaskis, B. (1987) Aggression as a social problem in the family and at school. ATHENS: Gregory
Sugar, D. (2003). Aggression and Education. ATHENS: Gregory
Kakouros, E., Maniadaki K., (2006) Child and Adolescent Psychopathology, Developmental approach. ATHENS: GEORGE DARDANOS
Kosmopoulos, A. (2007). Psychology and guiding of childhood and youth. ATHENS: Gregory
Moser, K.SigmundFreud-whole truth. ATHENS:KNOWLEDGE
Sousamidou- Karaberis, A., Vavetsi-Tsiviki, S. (2011) Parents and teachers face aggression in children and adolescents. University Studio Press
Chatzichristou, Ch. Educational materials for teachers and students of Primary Education. DARDANOS GEORGE
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